potatoandotherwise:

in math today my teacher asked what makes a number perfect and I said its dazzling personality and she almost kicked me out

mouth-two-mouth:

liamdryden:

Ellen’s coming-out speech was great

I fucking volunteer

(Source: pagingellenpage)

(Source: redvsboohoo)

scottish:

when u say something and it comes out meaner than u intended
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(Source: wenchyfloozymoo)

(Source: hairy-unicorn)

aangnog:

masturbation is just having sex with the person you love the most

(Source: terrakion)

santalinson:

"we’ll be watching a movie in class today"

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"here’s the packet of questions you’ll have to answer while watching"

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(Source: upallnighted)

(Source: lopmon)

(Source: jpzg)